La Vie En Rose: I Love You

"I love you." he whispered softly into my ear one night. The wisps of my hair brushed my cheek as he kissed my forehead.

I smiled in return, but it didn't come from the heart. It was a simple effort of the lines of my face turning upwards to create an expression to hide my true feelings. Feelings of doubt and despair.

"What's wrong?"

My eyes shifted from his eyes to the ground.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me." he said firmly.I twisted my toe into the gravel.

Tears started to flow.

I tried to wipe them away quickly with the sleeve of my shirt, I did not want him to see. "Why are you leaving me?" I shouted. The anger in my eyes that I had concealed all this time was now visible. "Don't you care for me anymore?" I cried with my fists clenched, "Why! How could you do this to me?"

Within seconds my screaming became sobbing. I was blinded by the many tears that continued to flow. Several long minutes passed before he was able to speak again.Shame now pulsed through my veins.The mask that my smile had created slowly started to disappear.

He slowly wrapped his arms around me, and just as quietly as before he whispered, "I love you."

My body turned to stone.

"Why does that phrase frighten you so?"

My eyes burned from holding back the tears.

"Every time someone tells me they love me, they run away. They run away from me! Words could not express the way that makes one feel. I cannot bear another loss."

Tears were flowing freely now, but I could still see his eyes.

"Do you know a man that says 'your beautiful" when you roll out of bed? A man that truly cares about what is on your mind. Do you know a man that would die for you ? " he asked.